If I could sum up what's been going on in my life in just one word it would be "searching." I have been searching, trying to find where I belong, what I want to do in life, what will make me happy..etc. I think this must be a very common thing to happen to a woman who is in her 40's. Is it a mid-life crises?? I don't know. I think it's a shift..You see, my whole entire life, all I wanted to be was a wife and a mother. I didn't have a career I was passionate about..all I wanted was to take care of my husband and children. I LOVE being a mom! It is no doubt one of the roles that God has designed for me. My life has evolved around God first and making my husband and children have the best lives possible!
Then there comes a time..when your children grow up, and they don't need you as much anymore..and you don't have to spend as much time caring for them. THis hasn't been a sad thing whatsoever for me..I'm excited for this new period in my life..but woah...I am starting to think about myself now. and to be honest, it's WEIRD! I never, really ever cared about having nice things, or nice clothes..all my money was always spent on my children. But as I said before..something has shifted. I've lost weight and I am starting to care a little bit more about my appearance. I want to look nice and attractive. But there's so much more than that. I want to succeed in life. I want to be able to conquer something..I want to be able to build something of my own and make it successful! I want to do something GREAT! As I've said many times before in this blog, I really do want to change the world. If I could do anything ..if I could live out my dream, I would plant a contemporary non-denominational church here in New Castle, and make the name of JESUS..FAMOUS!! I would help make the name of Jesus famous on all the earth! I've been trying for two years to make this happen..and I know God can make it happen tommorow if it's His will and believe me I have faith and trust in God..but because it isn't happening, I've got to figure out what else I can do! So that's where I'm at.. "searching." TOmmorow I'm meeting with a woman business owner, named Anne Bruening. We are having lunch together at my restaurant and you don't know how excited I am to talk to her! This Saturday, I am going to a woman's expo at the Scottish Rite Cathedral..and then next Tuesday, I'm meeting with Karen Miller, who is on the board at the Tourist Promotion Agency, plus has her own tour business. I love talking and learning from other people!
So where are you right now? Are you on a journey, like me? Are you happy? Are you satisfied? What can you do to bring more happiness into your life? It's up to you..you know that right? You make the choice whether or not to be happy...you can be in a miserable environment and have some really crappy things happen to you, but still be happy..maybe happy is not the right word, because really happiness is a temporary emotion...it's JOY, I'm talking about. You can have JOY in your heart, regardless of your situation. So do you? Are you filled with joy? You can be.
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